Intro part 3
If you're thinking about applying to college, or your child is, this is for you.
I urge you to stop comparing yourself to your classmates and start paying more attention to the person staring at you in the mirror. Applicants come from all fifty states and countries you can’t even pronounce let alone say you’ve visited. The only comparison worth making is the current version of yourself and one that’s better prepared. Your competition is not seated two desks over. Measuring yourself against the overachiever in your AP Calculus class is a needless distraction. You’re both going to college and probably not the same one. Keep your eye on the prize. The same things that will strengthen your application will strengthen you and get you ready for college.
To the extent you can, I invite you to stop beating up on yourself. Your mistakes do not define you. It’s natural to feel some anxiety, but too much worry will only hinder you in this process. You are in control of everything you need to succeed and ignoring what is outside your control will make you stronger. Happier applicants write better applications. Communicating your hope for the future will inspire us. You do not need to endure torture today for some vague reward in the future. Sacrifice, yes. Sleep deprivation, no. And dare I say, you might even allow yourself to have a little fun as you go through these steps. It has been known to happen.
Starting with the next chapter we’ll start breaking down the admissions process into its component parts. But generally speaking (and you can write this down and tape it to the wall) admissions committees are most interested in your answers to these two questions:
What unique skills, talents, and traits will you bring to the college class?
If admitted, how will you take advantage of the resources (academic, athletic, cultural, and club) provided by the college?
Stanford’s advice to applicants seems to corroborate this almost word for word:
We seek to understand how you would grow, contribute, and thrive at Stanford, and how Stanford would be changed by you.
Applicants who address both questions fully and honestly, and satisfy the objective criteria, will contend for available openings. Those who don’t will never be part of the conversation. They will receive a perfunctory email in March.
This book is organized to replicate the process I have employed over the years, refined to include those conversations and exercises that have proven useful. It has been effective with students of all descriptions. Although each individual presents differently, the misconceptions and self-doubts are oddly similar. I have included everything that you will need to make a solid case for yourself. All that’s missing is you.
Readers will come to this book at various stages of their high school careers. Juniors (and those younger) will have ample time to experiment with everything included here. The discussions of deeper and more lasting learning may be most beneficial. But seniors may be looking for the down and dirty basics as they stare at a deadline only a few months, or weeks, away. I’ll leave a sign when skipping to the next chapter might serve those in a hurry. Something like ⇨ 🕰⇨. False alarm. Next one counts.
No matter who or where you are, this is your moment to shine. We’ve all had some success in our lives and enough failure to have learned a bit of humility. We accept that it’s not all about you is true much of the time. But not here, not now. This is all about you. I urge you to put aside the self-doubt and get comfortable with taking inventory of, and communicating, your many fine points and considerable accomplishments. Your regrets have a place too. They hold tremendous redemptive power and secrets to potential topics for personal statements. This is one of those things that no one else can handle for you. If you don’t tell this story, it won’t get told.
And in order for a college to make a decision based on knowing who you really are, it absolutely must be told.
We will stop at all the important attractions but save plenty of energy for what matters most— the writing you’ll be asked to do. Objective criteria, (scores, grades, awards, and rank), will only get you so far. To make it from the contender to the admit pile you will have to create a revealing narrative that your admissions officer will remember and want to share with the full committee. Writing something truly memorable can make a decision-changing difference. While some of you may dread the thought of slaving over a personal statement, it can be the most satisfying and important achievement of your young life. More than any other one thing in your application, your story holds the power to transform the future. So tell it.
My last request is that you forgive an occasional digression exploring the larger world. To best prepare you for your college quest, it will be necessary at times to expand our discussion to include global events, culture, and psychology— ideas to help you frame yourself in a fuller context. Colleges want to know how you see yourself in relation to the world. Articulating this may be new to you but, through the process, you can discover your voice.
We want the same thing, namely getting you into a great college. But this is hardly the ultimate goal. It’s what you get out of your college years that will determine your success, not where you get in. The skills you build here should serve you well beyond the application process.
As we begin to organize our thinking and plan our route, let’s open ourselves to the possibilities. There is a lot of work ahead, but you will be admitted to a good college. This is a time for sharpening our vision and identifying what it is we truly want. If you’re like most students with whom I’ve worked, it’s the act of writing that starts the process for real. Writing something deeply personal will reveal to you the essential importance of rewriting. It isn’t until you read a first draft that you discover, although much is right about it, parts are unclear or still unstated. Clarifying makes all of your writing more compelling. Refining the parts strengthens the whole.
What you are about to go through can lead you to a better, deeper understanding of yourself. Since you’re about to leave home and begin a life of your own, is there any more important information you could take with you? Is there any better time than now?
I don’t know what path you’ll take. My hope is you’ll find a field of study that inspires you and deepens your appreciation of the world. You’re about to embark on a liberal arts education, the origins of which date back to the time of Pythagoras, b. 570 BC. While so much has changed in the interim, its purpose has not. The world’s progress depends on its citizens being well informed and of good character. We’re counting on you, more today than ever.
And before you can get the most out of college, you have to get in. Your success in doing so depends on you— on your effort, your honesty, and the story you tell.